Hi Everyone! Look at that, I’ve managed two blog posts in a short amount of time! It’s progress! Which I need, progress, not perfection.
2025 was a whirlwind for me. For the most part it went so quickly, but some parts totally dragged.
As I said in my last post I finally am single and not living with someone who is or even was a significant other. I finally told him to move out in May of this year and was just so tired of being “mom” to another adult in such capacity. Honestly, it’s been so nice not having to carry the mental load of a man who refuses to carry weight and causes so much chaos and drama. I’ve decided I want to be probably single for a very good long while, focus on myself and my life. If I do date, I don’t want to live with someone like that. Probably ever again to be honest, at least not with how my past relationships have gone.
Tori – our oldest cat – was diagnosed with Mast Cell cancer in late January of this year, she had a surgery to remove the organ that was most commonly removed for it, and she lasted until the end of October when there was just too much. As she might have had another cancer that all we could do was manage symptoms of, was losing her eye sight, had hyperthyroidism, arthritis that increased quickly in severity, and nothing we did helped her gain weight. She was on multiple medications and supplements, and went from being fine to one week suddenly taking such a drastic turn. There was sadly nothing else we could do. She wasn’t wanting to eat, not even her favorite treats. She couldn’t walk well, her meow changed, she just… we had to say goodbye. Part of my still blames myself. We had a good 8 months after surgery. She was finally growing her fur back well, but in the end you just can’t stop certain things. She made it to 16 years and 3 months old.
The bird we got in 2024, after the loss of Chicken Wing, is doing well. The rest of the cats are well too. Though I will be honest having aging pets makes me worry over every little thing. I am terrible with pet loss, I love them all so much. These little creatures entrusted to me by the universe, well, and by my own doing. Though I am at the point where I will not be taking any more pets until the current ones are… well.. hopefully I have a fair few years with the rest! Right now I’ve decided to enjoy the rest of their lives and not be hasty with anything.
I’ve been busy with hobbies, a job change, and getting used to life as a single mom with no one there who is supposed to help but doesn’t. Things are more calm, sometimes too calm. I’m too used to the chaos I’ve had to spend so much of my life dealing with. It’s lovely not to have it, but I’ve found myself feeling a little lost at times.
I’ve spent the last year and a half or so working on weight loss and my diet. Sometimes way better than others. It’s so hard getting anywhere NEAR as much protein as the nutritionist says I should get. Honestly, it makes me sick and tired of having to eat. It’s so stressful and so much effort, I wish I didn’t have to think about it as obsessively as a the nutritionist has made me to be honest. As it’s hard to enjoy food and life a lot of the times when you obsess over every last little thing to consume. It’s become too much and I am working on trying to recover from badly restricting myself.
I am also in the process of trying to figure out how to save up enough money to move. I want out of the north. I don’t want anymore snow, ice, freezing cold temperatures. I don’t want to worry about my pipes freezing, slipping on icy roads, or anything like that anymore. I want to be down south, preferably in California. I like dry heat, I want to swim, bask in the sunshine, not hurt for months on end ever again. It’s hard to figure out how to move with my current income, so I am trying to plan what I can to do make a move happen. Do you have any suggestions?
I hope that you all have had a good 2025, or at least one that you’ve managed to survive with some measure of sanity and hope for the world. Mine’s there, barely at times, but there. Just day by day, I have to figure out ways to make it.
Here’s to 2026! May we all go into the new year with some measure of renewed hope, and may we have better luck reaching goals we only dreamed of!
I’ll see you again real soon!
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