Just a quick note: I didn’t write this originally. This is from a book, or a website, I can’t remember which actually, and was printed and given to me by my last therapist. ((Meaning, the one I saw before my current.))
I have this page taped to the wall right above my main monitor, and read it whenever I am in my office here and need to remember it.
However, I felt that this was worth sharing despite the fact that I am not 100% who/what to credit!
What Is Is
The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless.
And yet, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that you think thoughts like this dozens of times a day. “People should be kinder.” “Children should be well-behaved.” “My husband (or wife) should agree with me.” “I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful).” These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is. If you think this sounds depressing, you’re right. All the stress that we feel is caused by arguring with what is.
People new to The Work often say to me, “But it would be dis-empowering to stop my argument with reality. If I simply accept reality, I’ll become passive. I may even lose the desire to act.” I answer them with a question: “Can you really know that that’s true?” Which is more empowering? – “I wish I hadn’t lost my job” or “I lost my job; what can I do now?”
The Work reveals that what you think shouldn’t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it is, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle. No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to e in a car accident’ but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know better than to do that, yet we do it, because we don’t know how to stop.
I am a lover of what is, not because I am a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don’t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind and fearless.
I understand it to an extent. I follow it the best I can but I know I forget all too easily to stop fighting with what is. More so when I spent a bit of time on my laptop instead of ‘hiding’ here in my office. Even though I can’t really consider it hiding since I’m right across the hall from one of the upstairs bathrooms, and not that far from the dining room or kitchen. Plus I leave the door open. Still, I feel like if I am in here too long when the kids are awake that I am hiding from them.
I figured this was a good morning to post this, as we’ve gotten a bit of snow over night and I was enjoying a fairly snowless winter most joyously. I was woken up at 6:30am to “Mommy, your car is covered in snow” and.. instead of crying like I would have done last year and saying “forget it, we’re not going to school today ugh!!” I got up, used the toilet, washed my hands, drank a glass of water with a dose of tylenol because my head is still doing me in, and went outside to shovel off the driveway so I could easily drive off of it. That and I needed to get the recycle and garbage bins to the curb as well!
Of course, it went from barely blowing a tiny bit of fluff when I was shoveling, to snowing a fair bit heavier after I had gone inside. Pretty much throwing another 1/2ish inch down before I even had to get the oldest to school by 7:30 for theater group. Then probably another 1/3 or more of an inch down by the time I had to get the middles (second daughter and only son) to school by 8:25! Thankfully we don’t live too far from school, so the trip is rather quick. I used to do the ‘wake everyone up just to do all the runs’ but then relaxed my standards to ‘make the runs fast, and don’t force grouchy kids up early.
The radio DJ says that come tomorrow morning at around 4, we’re expecting a huge bit of snow. From 1 – 2 FEET of the stuff. Perhaps school will close for that? I don’t really know. I know the local ski resorts will be happy. But for now. I’m not even going to bother shoveling any more today. The wind is blowing like crazy, the snow is still falling what is going to be another 3-8 inches, and you know what? No amount of crying, praying, or begging to the world to just stop it is going to actually make a difference.
The world wont stop just because there is tons of snow. I can’t simply just curl up in bed and wait until it all goes away. The kids have school and I do too, so that’s all there is to it.
Can you believe it’s Tuesday already? My brain is still so wonky right now that the weekend seems to have flown by. I only have school 4 days of the week, so to me it felt like a 4 day weekend instead of the three it was.
There is no forgetting of pens today. The ex even put another one in my purse last night when he was over to say hi to the kids. “Here, see?” he said, holding up the pen as he unzipped the front pocket of my purse (which is actually a mini-backpack since my real purses all fell apart because I used em to death) “I’m just going to put this in here just in case.”
Hah, I appreciate it. I wont be penless now that I have five of them in there!